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Old 09-23-2011, 07:23 AM
sigma95 sigma95 is offline
6 Therapist
Location: Houston
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 45
Mein Auto: Tahoe
X4 - Getting an X change operation.

An excerpt from my post in response to the Z2 rendering a couple months back:

"Seemed that the sporty coupes were even numbered and sedans/people movers were odd, with a few exceptions (M1 and some 3-series variants).

What's next, the 5-series coupe?"

Anyone else find it challenging to differentiate the new 5/7 series from each other without looking at the numerical tramp stamp on either's posterior?

"Running out of single digits for vehicle nomenclature BMW. I can only imagine the day when so many "niches" are created we'll be stumbling over pronouncing the unwieldy Eleven-series. Ugh. Trying to be all things to all people is going to kill BMW cachet and dilute the overall product. Enough with the X3/6 mad scientist experiments already.

Get back to making driver's cars people aspire to own and lust after their entire childhood ala the M3 and 635csi. If I see a Z4 5-door concept, heck even a sketch on a bev-nap from an uber-Oktoberfested designer, I will part out my 6er out of pure spite in protest."

Whew! That was close. Thought for a minute there I was gonna have to chop up my 6er much sooner than I thought. Don't make me do it BMW. How prophetic was it that I named my just-less-than "murdered out" 6er, "Justifiable Homicide?" The Z2 rendering, now X4 are Signs 1 and 2 the Apocalypse is upon us.

I have some branding/marketing thoughts, ruminations, etc... for the X4. How about the "22", as in Catch? An 2+2 seat Sport Utility Vehicle that is too plump to offer the driver anything resembling an athletic performance and due to its Mini-me X6 dimensions, too diminutive to provide much in the way of Utility.

Cue the BMW Niche Marketing Department, whose existence, like Area 51's, cannot be confirmed, though ironically do that very thing by launching alien craft into orbit only ever to be seen by a few wackos with a HandyCam.

So in an attempt to separate the X4 from the dreaded SUV moniker, the Sports Activity Crossover was born and abruptly euthanized upon realizing nobody wants to be caught dead riding around town in your SAC.


Fitting that the country that invented rocketry, designs a vehicle like the X4/X6 that suffers from the same propulsion dilemma that confounded NASA engineers developing rockets powerful enough to escape Earth's gravitational pull. "Too heavy, add fuel for more power, which adds weight, which requires more fuel, which adds more weight." Do you see where this is going?

Recently BMW, known globally for it's marriage of computer wizardry and controversial automotive design have green-lighted the Sports Utility X-over Information Technology edition X4, or for short, X4 IT SUX.

Last edited by sigma95; 09-23-2011 at 07:44 AM. Reason: Improve readability, grammar, typo
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