OK, after following the steps that projects outlined, I was able to start the car today. Had to use a bit of starting fluid to get it going the first time, but it started relatively quickly after that and seems to restart w/o problem now. Will try again tomorrow on a cold morning to verify.
If anyone else encounters this problem and wants to borrow the weird-ass but functional vanos air-tool I built, PM me and I'll mail it to you @ postage cost.
Thanks to all in this thread for their suggestions, they all helped.