I'm going to rewrite this with less sarcasm, and more to the point helpful descriptions. If anyone else has a DIY they've written used, or feel should be included for its usefulness please drop it here and I'll include it in the rewrite.
The Evolution of a Lady
“This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here.”
--Hunter S. Thompson
Member of the Non-M Bumper By Choice Club