Contact Blackstone Labs, get an oil test kit sent to you, and collect a sample and have it analyzed. If you are in a hurry to change the oil, collect the sample prior to receiving the kit. You need a warm engine and a clean vessel with a cap, open the drain plug and let it flow for a few seconds (5-10), then duck your vessel into the stream and collect 3-4 ounces. They will let you know the percentage of coolant in the oil, if any. I suspect you'll find quite a bit.
You are in the denial phase of grief. Soon comes acceptance. You'll want to throw money at your engine, but listen to the experienced folks. It will save you time and money in the long run.