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Old 11-16-2012, 12:58 PM
Pacifico Pacifico is offline
The right one makes it go
Location: Portland
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 8
Mein Auto: BMW 335i 2007
Driving while Anti Freezing

One of the more entertaining threads today. I figured I'd share a funny story.

Once I was driving from Silver Throne, CO back Denver, East on I-70 it was so cold, even the "Protects to -10" (which I had thinned with water to reduce the soap spotting) had froze in the nozzles. Now it had quit snowing but the muddy spray from other vehicles made the windshield basically opaque.

My solution was to use a cardboard Pepsi cup. Living in Colorado, I just left the gallon jug of Wiper Fluid in my car at all times. So I had the full gallon jug riding shot gun and I would pour some into the cup, roll down the window and reach out dump it on the shield and hit the wipers. Worked really quite well.

However this method, proved rather difficult and on the 4th or 5th dump, I spilled a bunch all over the door panel and myself. I started to swerve looking for a towel or sweatshirt to wipe it up, worried the wiper fluid would discolor whatever it had touched.

Thats when.....Colorado Highway Patrol felt it best to see what I was up to.....

The back window was soooo covered in muddy spray, and being busy with my idiotic windshield fiasco, I failed to realize for quite some time I had been invited by red and blue lights to have little chat.

Finally I pulled over, got out the license, proof of insurance, and DMV doc proving I was in the process of getting my plates changed to Colorado plates.

The trooper, already pissed I had driven so long with out acknowledging him, yelled for me to turn of the vehicle and drop my keys out of the window. Fortunately the area in which I had pulled over was not all that snowy and so I did. Thank god because with my luck this day I'm positive the short drop and snow bath would have killed the key-mote.

Anyways, when he got up to the vehicle, (hand on gun) he asked me to put down my license and all the stuff i was holding. And asked, "Are you lost?" , must of been the out of state plates. Then he started this very sarcastic and rehearsed speech about the laws pertaining to driving under the influence in "the great state of Colorado"....wondering where he was going with this he asked, "How much have you had to drink today?" Being 20 at the time, I restricted my drinking to my apartment and was stone sober. I replied "well I had a Pepsi earlier..." Trooper: "Did ya now?, well I could smell alcohol the second I step out of my car, are you sure about your answer?" Me: "Positive"

Still not putting two and two together, I didn't speak up about the wipers and my method. He asked if he could look around the vehicle. By this time, I'm standing by a second cop car, as the second trooper ran my documentation, and all that.

Trooper one walks back with the Pepsi Cup and the Stocking hat I feebly tried to use to clean up the spilled wiper fluid. He sets them down in on the trunk of his car, and asks "So were you drinking or huffing, this ****?"

Finally, I had a chance to explain my idiotic and hilarious story. They ran me through the field sobriety test and gave me a breathizier. "0.0", and educated me of the toxicity of the fumes caused by wiper fluid, just to be sure.

The two troopers had me open the hood and sure enough, the diluted mixture of wiper fluid had frozen solid in the hoses. They told me to not follow anyone too close and pull over to clean the windshield. So I got the windshield clean one last time and the one that pulled me over drove behind me for maybe the next 20 miles to make sure and all was well. I got home and had a stiff drink.

Moral of the story, if its really really cold, don't dilute your wiper fluid, and drink Coke.

The idiot with a plan.
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