Between the ignition switch and the relay, but first, try swapping in a different relay! I haven't seen that suggested yet. Relays are a common failure point. You already know the wiring from the relay to the pump is good, since it works when jumpered.
Quotes to live by:
guessing gets expensive
nothing is more expensive than a cheap BMW
Ken Kanne, Silverhill, AL, Honorary Forum Grandpa/Craigslist addict/Hoarder of all sorts of stuff
1995 318is "Bebe"; 1993 325is "Elvira" 1985 635CSi "Katja" 1984 633CSi "Sylvia"
I NEED A NAP, DANG IT!