Unfortunately, in many respects, the engineering behind the BMW telematics is far superior to the engineering behind the wife's ability to focus. This is especially so on something her husband deems important but she doesn't, even though shes does not know enough about the subject of discussion to make an informed decision if she is ignoring something she really needs to know. I doubt there is a single married man that has not come to the same opinion. Interestingly, at least with respect to my wife, the ability to focus was lost the instant we said "I do".
I understand your pain and how frustrating that damage must be on a brand new car. My suggestion (from similar experience with damage to a new vehicle) is to just bite the bullet and get it fixed right. Very soon the cost of the repair will be nothing but history and you will not have an ugly scar to frustrate you every time you see your car.