MUST READ: Help us help you!! Please read BEFORE posting in the E34 Section

This is especially for the newcomers to this forum, but it does apply to some of the established members too!

When asking a question about your car, please provide as much detail as possible. for example

Car: 320i Touring
Year: 1993
Vin number: xx00000
Euro / Jap / US New: Euro
Options ie: Manual... Auto
The list could go on & on ...dependent on the problem you might have

You might like to input this information into your signature as I have done (at time of writing), so you can skip most of this step

By now I think you should get the drift. We need as much info as you can give us

And a description of what the actual fault is or a pic

Questions that are limited to "my car stopped!! what will I do ??? what is it ??? it runs horrible...." Wont get answered.... call AAA if thats all the information you can give us.

We cant help with alot of the problems you have on a forum, especially if the fault needs proper diagnostic evaluation. We can help by suggesting what you should do, or who to go to, depending on tha area you live in.

This is not a rant... we are all happy to help anyone on here where we can . But please help us as well

Please also remember that diagnosing problems is hard on the internet, and members will tend to only think about it for less than a minute before posting, so the real answer may not come up straight away, if at all

and finally, as a general rule, if you have to ask beginner questions about a turbo install/engine conversion/gearbox conversion.. you are not ready to do this to your car. research, research, research. then when you think you're ready but still have a few questions .. research some more. only then ask questions. An answer to anything that falls into this catagory can be found on this site, as well as others.

Typical thread:


OP: umm, my cars not working.

paperplane94: gee, i'm sorry. Have a nice day!

This has historically been known as the "monologue".

http://www.bimmerfest.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=366718

Still applies today.

Originally Posted by BMR_LVR

This has historically been known as the "monologue".

http://www.bimmerfest.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=366718

Still applies today.

Hadnt seen that. Actually i basically pinched the whole thing off another BMW forum i frequent, but the same applies here. Maybe i should add the part from 'the monolouge' about the forum title. if it says the word help in it and/or is in capital letters, i dont even bother to open it


edit: damn just realised this thread has both the word help and its in capital letters.....

It got cold out and my car goes bing - what does that mean?

Originally Posted by RobertV

It got cold out and my car goes bing - what does that mean?

It's telling you to search Bing :snicker:

Originally Posted by BMR_LVR

This has historically been known as the "monologue".

http://www.bimmerfest.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=366718

Still applies today.

An extract from the above monologue is relevant here :


"Post after the problem has been solved; let everyone know how it came out and thank everyone again for their help. I can't stress how important this is."


It is surprising that even people with thousands of posts need to be reminded of basic courtesies, when their problem has received attention, interest, discussion and ultimately the correct solution from the forum. Perhaps in future they should take their car to a mechanic.

I think this type of baby jibberish posting is so prevalent because that is what they say when they bring it into the shop.

It works there, so why not on a forum a million miles away that will never be able to hear, see, or touch their car. The only reason why they don't provide details in the shop, is that because in reality it doesn't matter what the car owner says. They diagnose the car as if he or she never existed in the first place. And it works.

But we dont have that kind of empirical data here. So the owner has to mentally grow up before getting any results from people that arent standing over his car, and ignoring him.

Its a natural human reaction to think whatever you say has worth. Can you imagine an astronaut diagnosing an oxygen leak by saying 'there's this sound. help me.'



Sent from my SGH-T989 using Bimmer App

please delete

I don't believe this thread should be stickied. Not because a year ago there were no stickies in this e34 forum and now there are four, but because this is stated elsewhere on the forums, and people with common sense (like all of us active members) should know proper internet etiquette.
Obviously that guy with the "cocaine white" e34 that was "king of 124" got banned because his posts were ridiculous. Imbeciles will come and go, and you can usually spot them a mile away. Chances are, they will never read this sticky anyway, since they didn't read the disclaimers available on the home page of Bimmerfest.

Originally Posted by _Ethrty-Andy_

This is especially for the newcomers to this forum, but it does apply to some of the established members too!

When asking a question about your car, please provide as much detail as possible. for example

Car: 320i Touring
Year: 1993
Vin number: xx00000
Euro / Jap / US New: Euro
Options ie: Manual... Auto
The list could go on & on ...dependent on the problem you might have

You might like to input this information into your signature as I have done (at time of writing), so you can skip most of this step

By now I think you should get the drift. We need as much info as you can give us

And a description of what the actual fault is or a pic

Questions that are limited to "my car stopped!! what will I do ??? what is it ??? it runs horrible...." Wont get answered.... call AAA if thats all the information you can give us.

We cant help with alot of the problems you have on a forum, especially if the fault needs proper diagnostic evaluation. We can help by suggesting what you should do, or who to go to, depending on tha area you live in.

This is not a rant... we are all happy to help anyone on here where we can . But please help us as well

Please also remember that diagnosing problems is hard on the internet, and members will tend to only think about it for less than a minute before posting, so the real answer may not come up straight away, if at all

and finally, as a general rule, if you have to ask beginner questions about a turbo install/engine conversion/gearbox conversion.. you are not ready to do this to your car. research, research, research. then when you think you're ready but still have a few questions .. research some more. only then ask questions. An answer to anything that falls into this catagory can be found on this site, as well as others.

Originally Posted by goosefoot33

I don't believe this thread should be stickied. Not because a year ago there were no stickies in this e34 forum and now there are four, but because this is stated elsewhere on the forums, and people with common sense (like all of us active members) should know proper internet etiquette.
Obviously that guy with the "cocaine white" e34 that was "king of 124" got banned because his posts were ridiculous. Imbeciles will come and go, and you can usually spot them a mile away. Chances are, they will never read this sticky anyway, since they didn't read the disclaimers available on the home page of Bimmerfest.

cocaine white? where can i get this color

Originally Posted by PFCTTZ

cocaine white? where can i get this color

Columbia, so I hear.

Originally Posted by BMR_LVR

Columbia, so I hear.

brb going to columbia

my extact same thread is stickied in the E30 section, and its made a difference there, just saying.

This thread, particularly the original post, isnt targeted at anyone either by the way.

If it does get stickied by the powers that be, can the off topic including this be deleted too?

You guys are great, what an awesome forum--

Sent from my LG-MS840 using Bimmer App

bump

bump

Hi guys. I just need a bit of troubleshooting here. I have a 1995 BMW E34 525i and I have done no modifications to the car on the interior.
I have a problem closing the passenger side glove compartment, when I took off the handle, the spring looked all messed up, so that is most likely the problem. It won't close, and it wiggles a bit, but it is a 17 year old car... So I just need to know where I can get a replacement for this spring, or if there is a different problem that needs to be taken care of. Thanks.

If you want your key to fit, you need to order the part from BMW. If you don't care if the key fits, then I would suggest getting the lock mechanism from a salvage yard. I had to get one for my car. The lock works fine, I just can' lock it which to me is no big deal.

BUMP! Mods please make this a sticky! Also don't post on this thread if you have a problem.

bump....again

bump, sent a message to the webmasters to maybe get this stickied. Fingers crossed Andy!

Originally Posted by M540FELLA

bump, sent a message to the webmasters to maybe get this stickied. Fingers crossed Andy!

ha, i did last night too.

It's all true. When ever I look at a "customers" cars I barely pay attention. I've had many instances were what they say to what actually happens is completely different. It's what makes to playing online mechanic so hard. It's all about details and quite frankly not a whole lot of people pay attention to there car. There are plenty of people in my area with major misses in there car. One Nissan pickup with HxC rodnock. Not to mention I've seen two tie rods let loose and a ball joint let loose this summer alone. So making a standard of information would be nice. Babump

bump again, arrgghh why can't they just make this a sticky already?