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E46 (1999 - 2006)
The fourth generation 3 Series (E46 chassis) was introduced in 1999 and set the standard for engineering and performance during it's years of production including being named to Car & Driver's 10 best list every one of those years! ! -- View the E46 Wiki

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  #1076  
Old 04-29-2016, 10:55 PM
Jm1877 Jm1877 is offline
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Mein Auto:
OFFICIAL E46 Off Topic Thread

Should have changed it to my wife be like. Click image for larger version

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Last edited by Jm1877; 05-02-2016 at 08:18 PM.
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  #1077  
Old 05-01-2016, 10:37 AM
DougD1 DougD1 is offline
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Location: Louisville ky
 
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Mein Auto: 2004 330ci SMG
My car thinks it's -40°anytime it rains.....

Any time I drive in the rain or wash my car my external temperature drops to -40 and beeps. Where is this sensor I can't find it.
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  #1078  
Old 05-28-2016, 10:49 AM
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Fast Bob Fast Bob is offline
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Location: Here, there, everywhere....
 
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Mein Auto: 2004 330Ci ZHP 3 pedals
The Assassin

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists: two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes."I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. The the agents heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.

She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."
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  #1079  
Old 06-11-2016, 01:45 PM
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Fast Bob Fast Bob is offline
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Location: Here, there, everywhere....
 
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Mein Auto: 2004 330Ci ZHP 3 pedals
A man calls 911....

and says "I think my wife is dead." The operator says, "How do you know?"

The man says, "Well, the sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
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When faced with choosing between two evils, always go with the one you`ve never tried before....
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  #1080  
Old 06-16-2016, 08:28 PM
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Fast Bob Fast Bob is offline
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Mein Auto: 2004 330Ci ZHP 3 pedals
Joke du Jour

An elderly couple in their 70s were planning to get married.

She said "I want to keep my house !"
He said "OK, fine with me"

She said "I want to keep my Cadillac !"
He said "OK, fine with me"

She said "I want to have sex 6 times a week !"
He said "OK....put me down for Fridays"
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When faced with choosing between two evils, always go with the one you`ve never tried before....
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  #1081  
Old 08-08-2016, 11:14 AM
bvsedavery bvsedavery is offline
BVSEDAVERY
Location: Florida
 
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Mein Auto: 2000 323Ci Convertible
New Owner!! Will have my 323ci on Friday and couldn't be more excited to join the community
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  #1082  
Old 08-08-2016, 02:36 PM
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Fast Bob Fast Bob is offline
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Mein Auto: 2004 330Ci ZHP 3 pedals
Quote:
Originally Posted by bvsedavery View Post
New Owner!! Will have my 323ci on Friday and couldn't be more excited to join the community
Welcome aboard....congrats on the new ride, I hope it treats you well !
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When faced with choosing between two evils, always go with the one you`ve never tried before....
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  #1083  
Old 08-09-2016, 05:53 AM
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Dio///M Dio///M is offline
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Location: 34deg53''North 32deg19''east
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 2,163
Mein Auto: E36 M3(euro),E39,E46
Is this anyone around here.??...lol
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  #1084  
Old 09-07-2016, 09:32 PM
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Fast Bob Fast Bob is offline
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Location: Here, there, everywhere....
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 39,892
Mein Auto: 2004 330Ci ZHP 3 pedals
Joke du Jour (Just another fish story)

The game warden spots Joe walking down the road with an ice chest. He pulls over, looks in the ice chest, and sees 5 or 6 trout. "Can I see your fishin' license, please?" asks the warden. "I ain't been fishin'" says Joe.

"Then what do you call them?" the warden asks, pointing to the trout. Joe answers, "Them's my pet trout. I keep them in a trough alongside the barn., Once every two weeks or so, I take them down to the pond and let them swim around. After awhile, I call them back, they git in the ice chest, and I take them home."

"You expect me to believe that story?" asks the warden. "Follow me - I'll show you", says Joe as he heads back to the pond. They walk up to the edge of the water, Joe opens the lid, and tips the ice chest on it's side so the trout can get in the pond. He puts the lid back on, sits down, and lights his pipe. After about 10 minutes, the warden asks, "So, when are you going to call the fish back?"

Joe looks at him, smiles, and says, "What fish?"
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*Please support the Disabled American Veterans*

When faced with choosing between two evils, always go with the one you`ve never tried before....
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  #1085  
Old 04-13-2017, 09:18 PM
lgr122 lgr122 is offline
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Location: Finland
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,575
Mein Auto: '04 e46 Touring M-Sport
Picked from ebay...

"T04E T3/T4 Internal Turbo Kits for 2001-2006 BMW325i/325xi/325Ci E46 V6 Engine"

V6? Why should i believe anything you say?
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  #1086  
Old 04-25-2017, 04:34 PM
PancakeBimmer PancakeBimmer is offline
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Location: Portland, OR
 
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Posts: 710
Mein Auto: 02 BMW 325i
Game is over
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Cheap people deserve to pay twice

Volcano Red • M3 Bumpers, Fenders, Quarter panels • 19" 8.5ET35 225/35 | 9.5ET35 255/30 • Custom Quad Exhaust • Good old M54
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  #1087  
Old 05-06-2017, 05:14 AM
Kdo Kdo is offline
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Location: Ni
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1
Mein Auto: 04 318i
318I will not start

Can any one help
My 04 318I lost power today while I was driving along the road, so I pulled in and turned it off
I tried to start it again but just kept turning over and won't start.
A EML light is on along with traction control light and engine light..
What could the problem be
Thanks
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  #1088  
Old 05-14-2017, 11:37 AM
lgr122 lgr122 is offline
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Location: Finland
 
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Posts: 1,575
Mein Auto: '04 e46 Touring M-Sport
Again only one e46.

No more M43-4cylinder e46. That damn thing tried everything.. even ABS-ASC lights on when buyer test driving car, so i had to lower price, but either way i'm off the hook now and can focus on my new M54 Touring.
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  #1089  
Old 06-17-2017, 11:19 AM
Bimtec Bimtec is offline
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Location: Miami
 
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Posts: 18
Mein Auto: 2001 BMW 330ci
Looks like your on your way to a good clean recovery sista! Good Luck!
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