Here's a copy-paste of a looooooooong review I did wrote to post up on various sites who were asking me for one. Funny thing is, I have even more to add now.
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Ok, so for what will be a wall of text, the most I've probably ever written anywhere period, keep in mind I'm gonna use this "review" on any board where I'm gonna post a review, and I want to cover about EVERYTHING I can between these two cars. Warning: It'll be intimidating, but you're safe to dive in.
I'll start/continue with the drive. I really haven't been this excited to *DRIVE* a car in a long time. Benzes to me are always about RIDING great, having a good environment to battle the day to day. I'd love getting into my E to experience just how smoothly and solidly it could transition me from place to place, to just "cruise" and enjoy the presence I felt the car had.
The BMW I want to really exploit the engineering of. I don't know which I'd rather do in this car, take a 4 hour drive and enjoy what I think is one of the nicest interiors in the world in insanely luxurious seats, with a state of the art Infotainment system, or go hit the "twistiez" and just have some more-adrenaline inspired fun with the car. Enjoy its beauty, or beast? In fact, tonight is NYE and my GF said we should go up the hills to have a "romantic celebration".... Shhh, don't tell her, but I jumped at the thought because I want to take this car around some turns.
Now, mind you, BMW fanatics consider the F10 a soft, cuddly couch compared to previous 5ers, but to me, coming out of an E-Class who rolls so exaggeratedly while turning it seems like the car sometimes detaches from its own wheels (which is a-ok with me as it's what M-B is all about, I just hate when they confuse themselves and make it so not only does the car sway like a boat in turns, but it's harsh over bumps when it should be the other way around).... it's a big change.
I drove my E again today, and I'll say this: When I first drove the 5, I said "The 5 is more comfy, smoother, quieter and MUCH BETTER OVER BUMPS WHILST ACTUALLY HANDLING MORE SPORTILY (i.e BMW wins in the suspension engineering dynamics dept by a longshot). After driving the E again, yes it feels a bit softer and "boatier" than it did before as I'm using to the 5's firmer approach, but I had a newfound appreciation for just how cozy it drives (over smooth roads). On good roads, the E really is a master of carefree transportation. It feels like you're being driven in the E, while in the 5 more like you actually have to drive it.... neither of those are bad things, mind you.... the E actually is engineered well enough to where it feels like IT DRIVES *YOU*, while the 5 is engineered well enough to where it makes you feel like you are much more connected to the machine.
I'm not gonna try and compare the 268 HP E to the underrated 300 HP Turbo I6 535i (it actually puts down around 280-290 HP at the wheels, therefore more like 325-340 HP at the crank, which is the HP number that is advertised). The E's motor is great at what it does.
My 5er has the "Sport Auto" option which comes with paddles and a more aggressively tuned tranny. Shifts are incredibly smooth and crisp, the paddle format is a bit different than M-B's, it's a little "smarter" in that the computer tries to figure out what you're doing or going to do (goes back into D on its own for example when it feels you're done playing with it), while M-B's you can click and hold to make those decisions. M-B's paddles give you about a year before it engages the gear you want, while the 5ers (WITH "SPORT AUTO") is far more instantaneous. The 8-Speed in the 5 is just much much faster than the 7-G in the E all around. Also, the optional paddles on the 5er are nicer and feel more high quality than the E's plastic pieces.
When I drove the E again, I had a newfound respect for it. Yes, I've wanted something more sporty, I spent my late 20's indulging in the most luxurious and cushy cars I could ask for, and the E started feeling a bit too disconnected to me, all of a sudden it felt like it didn't fit me, too mature, too geared to slow down the heart rate rather than speed it up. I'm not an idiotic driver on public roads, but even going within speed limits, a car can make you feel so differently while doing so. However, I don't think that's a BAD THING. I think it's what the E is supposed to do! That's why I bought it! Now I want to try something different. Why the 5-Series has just continued to seduce me is because it engages you as an ultimate all-arounder.... it wants to be "the best of all worlds". But for what the E wants to do, it does damn well and with no apologies.... except for over too rough of roads.
Both cars feel VERY solid, but I'm surprised to say that the 5 feels even more like a locomotive tracking, it feels VERY drum tight, no rattles at all yet over bumps (duh, it has 140 miles on it), and it MIGHT be quieter than the E, however ROAD NOISE IS MUCH BETTER ON THE 5, EVEN WITH 19" WHEELS. You notice it absorbs road impacts better and sounds from the road are far less intrusive (more undercarriage sound deadening materials I'd assume for one).
..... HOWEVER, on the other side of things, the E actually feels lighter (because it actually is), the 5 really feels heavy, it feels tight, it takes more effort to turn, etc. In fact, the steering of the 5 is something I have to get re-used to. Being a performance-inspired brand, BMW is all about a heavier steering feel. I always loved that feel.... until Mercedes spoiled me against it. The E's steering is so boosted that yes it's not a handling feel at all, but it's a great city feel. The E is so easy to maneuver, great turning radius, just feels light (and sometimes too light when you have to make a quick maneuver)
The interior is one of my favorites I've ever experienced.... and I've always said this about the car. It is very cozy, it wraps around you, kind of engulfs you, the shapes and the way your view around you is from the cockpit makes you really feel like you're sitting IN the car, in comparison. It just is mechanically and architecturally "sexier" to me. I do miss the E's dash-mounted ambient lighting though, as it sets a great mood and ambiance at night (the 5 just has them around the doors).
.... However, the does what it sets out to do: It's much airier and more open feeling inside. The seats, the pillars, etc. are thinner, maybe even flimsier appearing in some cases (the seats really), more upright. It doesn't try and dazzle you, rather just wants to give you a great functional ambiance. I really love the "joystick" in the 5er, I felt ready to go back to that. The E's gearshift is a very luxurious and functional-first accommodation, but I like the feeling of shifting the gears from the center console again.... feels cool, though I'm not dogging the E's way.... again, it IS APPROPRIATELY E. You buy an E for that, if you don't like it, then the E isn't for you.
Where M-B kills BMW in is storage and use of space. The E's trunk is VERY thoughtful and intuitive. All the compartments make sense, they give you lots of places to put different things. The 5ers is very haphazard in comparison. The "under storage" is this tiny little bin that can barely fit anything. The side compartments seem like they weren't designed with any thought.... the "net" on the left side of the trunk which is very high and tight to put detail bottles and such in the E, it too low and "wide" in the 5.... things just fall over and around.
.... Also inside, the E has a great place to put everything you can have in a car.... as if the engineers thought of every object you'd think of having in a car, and gave you a place for it. Nobody feats the functionality-thoughtfulness of M-B engineers.... funny thing is people deride M-B for that a lot because they take it as being too "old school" or whatever. The 5-Series has all these things that look like they would be storage compartments, but are just not able to house anything.... even the glove box is smaller than the E's. The E gives you two shelves, and has an A/C vent you can open inside it.... as far as I know the 5 has no A/C vent (anybody know if it does?) and no shelves, so everything is kind of just flung in there.
Technology: No contest. iDrive VS COMAND is like going to a HD Flatscreen TV after having the small TV set that was in your house when you were born, like a PS3 VS Atari, etc.. It is very "ooh/ahh", lots of features, best screen definition in the business I think, very cool looking and acting, BUT.... again, M-B's motto of simplicity makes COMAND MUCH EASIER TO USE. iDrive will be great once I figure it out, and perhaps I'll never think of COMAND again by then, but now, it is sometimes frustrating, and feels like they wanted to look "cool" at the expense of simple and logical function. COMAND is the opposite, it doesn't look all that "cool" I guess you can say, but it works well, simply and intuitively, and I comment M-B on that. I downloaded my Phone Book and did all the radio presets I wanted (you get two types of presets in the Bimmer, one in the I/C display and one in the physical dash buttons), and then all of a sudden they erased. I don't know if my system is buggy or if there's some stupidly complex process you have to go through to save the things you thought you actually saved.
Other random thoughts:
I love the anthracite headliner on the 5. It has a cool texture and looks great playing in sunlight. Also, the sunroof in the 5 is a more refined and expensive feeling unit than in the E, it has an automatic shade and sounds much smoother when opening and closing.
I love the BMW "chimes" inside, they put attention to produce different authentic-to-BMW sounds, in comparison to M-B's simple beeps (again though, M-B's formula is supposed to be that of logic, no frivolous behavior, though these days it seems M-B is at odds with themselves as they give some in that department and then they take some).
I love how in the 5er you can ACTUALLY TURN THE LIGHTS OFF. I hate how M-B doesn't give you an off option.
I love how I get a nice "Luxury-Car-esque" alarm chime back, instead of M-B's hideous cost cutting into $14K Rental Chevy territory with a harsh "honk sound". I've always said it, but those details can break or make an experience with a luxury car.
The 5 has cool LED lights that light up the door handle indentations at night, which looks stunning on my blacked out car. The E has those cool puddle lights under the rearview mirrors though which I don't think the 5 has (gotta check again), so the E looks hot on its own at night for sure, especially when you hit the alarm and see those hockey stick LED's fire up, etc.
Again, BMW fails by producing more unnecessarily complex thoughtless behavior in what should be simple controls. The 5 you have to touch the handle TWICE to unlock the doors (on Comfort Access cars like mine which are equivalent to M-B's Optional P2 Keyless Entry), and then to open it from the inside you have to pull the handle TWICE! It's RIDICULOUS! You have to pull once to unlock it manually, THEN again to open the door. Very stupid behavior. The 5 also has a different layout of the "brake hold option". You press a button and it does it at every stop. I don't know if I like it more or less than M-B's more analogue yet "I control it" way.... I think I prefer M-B's more simple approach... again, BMW likes to dazzle for the sake of dazzling sometimes.... not that I'm complaining I guess. What I love about the 5er is the Electronic E Brake, that makes M-B's 50's "foot brake" unit feel just crude.... BUT, AGAIN, M-B's is easy to use, to understand, might come in handy in a safety hazard where you need to activate it and BMW's will be MIA because the electronics will disable it while you're driving. So, again, different approaches. BMW's is more marketable, but M-B's is engineered simply to "work and work damn well".
HUD is AWESOME, I'm a total believer of it now. I have the black panel display and HUD option (digital I/C display which is all black when off, and then turns on to emulate the exact classic BMW display in very sharp graphics) which is very cool.
I also love BMW's driver settings of "Eco/Comfort/Sport/Sport+". Very fun and exciting to use. Sport setting actually tunes the tranny to shift pretty aggressively, it holds RPM's high and you feel a lot of kick from it, and it doesn't like to downshift, so it holds gears longer as if you were aggressively driving a Manual.
Sound system: Can't tell yet, but I think the 5-Series' is better. I DO KNOW that hearing phone calls via Bluetooth on the 5-Series sounds MUCH BETTER, for some reason the E's Bluetooth audio via phone calls is just far far less quality sounding.
M Sport VS AMG Package: This was one of the reasons I wanted to move from the E. MBUSA are so sans passion, they want to make the M-B lineup akin to a fleet-car lineup. They short you on options and don't like you to be creative when ordering cars. EVERY E has the damn AMG Package. There's nothing cool or special about it anymore. At least BMW, even after dropping the price of the M Sport Package this year, keep it as a "halo", I think an M Sport package gives me a very European-Performance inspired vibe, it still turns my head because it's not so common, you know an enthusiast is behind the wheel because they paid for that option to stand out. M-B needs to cater to enthusiasts like that again. The 5 has variation options like either matte black door frames and chrome window trim or gloss black door frames and shadowline window trim. Little stuff like that shows pride, promotion of variation, and is quintessential to maintaining a luxury car image that still caters to the enthusiast groups.
When I first got in a Dakota Leather car, I said "it doesn't feel that much more high quality or different than my M-B Tex". Well, yes, it does feel more high quality, soft and "better", it also smells better (so far, new car of course), but it isn't "night and day" from M-B tex, just like the W212's kind of weak leather option isn't either. Yes, they both feel more luxurious and coddling than M-B Tex, but the fact that M-B Tex is so close whilst delivering probably better durability says a lot about how good M-B TEX IS.
As for styling, I'll say that it's totally subjective and I think both cars are stunning. My first time I put them together, that brilliant front of my E was making me almost upset at getting the 5.... the next time I saw them together (which was later that day and today in the same exact setting when I went to go visit the E), I thought the 5 totally crushed the E in looks. So as you see, so far, they're battling it out like two stunningly-Sedan-warriors should. I think the closest race between these two is in the design, they really give each other a good fight. I've been looking and loving my very angular and mathematical E design for so long, my eyes have been craving a sensual, sleekened and timelessly-elegant, rounder design (that's my roots of design, my inherent being prefers round, smooth, elegant, timeless yet cunning and aggressive), and right now the 5er is feeding that to me in spades as I think it's a masterclass in that type of design, just as the E is a masterclass in somewhat complex angularity with a dynamic take on "Stateliness and conservatism meets boastful aggression".
Ever since the first time I saw an F10, I said (and even wrote on this very board in my review on one of the first F10's to hit dealer lots) that it was/is very "me". I always saw myself in that car, it's as if BMW heard everything I'd preached about regarding design, and gave me it. The E was a different story.... I hated it, then fell in love with it. Part of that love was because it was so "anti-me", it was like sleeping with the enemy, it taught me to appreciate a whole different type of design approach. The 5er is one that catered to me from the get-go.
..... Okay, I think that's long enough?