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Off-Topic
Everything not about BMWs. Posts must be "primetime safe" and in good taste. No personal attacks allowed. Political posting is restricted to the Political Science forum! |
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#1
06-11-2005, 06:59 AM
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Your funny funny for today that is so retarded only Sabrina will find this one funny.
There once was an Apache Indian whose given name was
"Onestone". So named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die! What is the moral of this story????? OH, come on...take a guess! And the moral is ... You can't kill two birds with one stone!
__________________
-Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder 
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#2
06-11-2005, 07:51 AM
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__________________
 
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#3
06-11-2005, 10:57 AM
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wow...I actually laughed at that one.
__________________
*** THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE *** “If I tell you I'm good, you would probably think I'm boasting, If I tell you I'm no good, You know I'm lying.” — Bruce Lee 
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#4
06-11-2005, 11:40 AM
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Best pick-up tactic ever?
__________________
 2004 330i 6MT · performance package · silver gray · alcantara/cloth · black cube · xenons · pdc · aux audio
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#5
06-11-2005, 11:11 PM
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I just want to know where I could find Onestone .... I mean if he can last all day all night, into the next all day and all night and ...  
__________________
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ WOO HOO what a ride!" 
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#6
06-11-2005, 11:15 PM
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Quote:
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#7
06-11-2005, 11:17 PM
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Quote:
I called ... they told me it would be $5.99 a minute ... got a credit card I can borrow
__________________
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ WOO HOO what a ride!"
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#8
06-11-2005, 11:20 PM
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Here you go.
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#9
06-11-2005, 11:22 PM
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Quote:
That one looks familiar
__________________
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ WOO HOO what a ride!"
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#10
06-12-2005, 05:34 AM
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Quote:
__________________
-Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
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#11
07-30-2005, 03:30 PM
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Quote:
__________________
MatWiz "Seeing is not believing. Believing is seeing." -Judy the Elf
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#12
07-30-2005, 03:32 PM
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Quote:
__________________
-Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
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#13
07-30-2005, 03:37 PM
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Oh. hehe than.
__________________
MatWiz "Seeing is not believing. Believing is seeing." -Judy the Elf
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#14
07-30-2005, 03:38 PM
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Oh wait!!! HE was joking?
__________________
MatWiz "Seeing is not believing. Believing is seeing." -Judy the Elf
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#15
07-30-2005, 03:50 PM
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 You got it wrong. You can kill two birds with one stone.
__________________
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. Albert Einstein Swim upstream. Go the other way. Ignore the conventional wisdom. If everybody is doing it one way, there’s a good chance you can find your niche by going exactly in the opposite direction", Sam Walton.
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