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Everything not about BMWs. Posts must be "primetime safe" and in good taste. No personal attacks allowed. Political posting is restricted to the Political Science forum!

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  #1  
Old 09-23-2002, 05:02 PM
geomax geomax is offline
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Location: MA
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
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Mein Auto: 335i
Funny, if true...

This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?'

"He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, " 'A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"
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  #2  
Old 09-23-2002, 10:26 PM
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The Roadstergal The Roadstergal is offline
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Location: Seattle, WA
 
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A similar joke my dad once told me...

A guy is out doing his regular morning workout. He lives near the beach, so he jogs up and down it, then stops and does situps and pushups.

He's in the middle of doing pushups when a drunk staggers by. The drunk stares at him panting, sweating and doing pushups, and says, "Hey, fellah - shombody shtole yer girlfriend."
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