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Old 06-15-2015, 11:28 AM
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Sportsdad Sportsdad is offline
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Talking crap

Funny! Work safe with head phones...

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Old 06-15-2015, 06:56 PM
Autoputzer Autoputzer is online now
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A few days after I started my first engineering job, I was in the can at work. The guy in the next stall was squirting away. Then, he started telling me that he had felt a really big fart coming but decided to err on the side of caution and hit the can instead, and that he was really glad that he did. Then he want on to speculate about what would have happened if he had done his normal routine and blasted away in his friend's office with what he though was just a fart. He said that he normally walked down to his friends' office and blast his bigger farts there just to annoy him, etc., etc. He didn't know who was in the stall next to him, but he didn't care. He just thought it'd be fun to discuss his diarrhea with a stranger.
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Old 06-15-2015, 07:27 PM
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Sportsdad Sportsdad is offline
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Location: Between chaos and madness
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Mein Auto: 4Runner-BMW

So a couple weeks ago I took the handicap stall at the very end...lots of room, a place to set the phone down on next to the toilet roll...no handicap persons on our floor, I didn't feel guilty
The thing about this stall is you can never tell when someone is in it...

Anyway, some dude with brown leather shoes with a cute bow on top saddles up in the short stall near me. I don't normally look at shoes, I'm busy playing poker on my phone while do my thing.

So this dude starts TALKING to himself, "UUhhhhhh, UHHHHHHHH...{Phhhft} Oh its just fart...Uhhh, UHHHHHHHHHH..{Phffft and splash} "Oh that's better, good job..."

Now I'm like freaking out...WHO THE HELL DO I WORK WITH ON THIS FLOOR THAT TALKS TO THEMSELVES WHILE CRAPPING/FARTING?!?!?" SO I look at the shoes, Jeans, and brown shoes...not a manager (thank God!)

I spend the next 3 days in meetings, in the hallway, in the breakroom....LOOKING AT SHOES! trying to discover the phantom headcase who didn't know I was in the stall listening to him talk to himself...

Finally Day 3 I recognize the shoes...Some older fock who looks like he should have retired 10 years ago. NOT on my projects (Thank GOD) Then I suddenly felt sorry for him...why would someone continue to work here that long that obviously has some psychology stuff going on upstairs in the brain?

The only good thing was this; He answered himself in the same tone of voice, not a different tone as though two people lived in his brain...

Last edited by Sportsdad; 06-15-2015 at 07:34 PM.
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Old 06-16-2015, 12:49 PM
zaphod beeble zaphod beeble is offline
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Location: California
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Mein Auto: Tractor
That was pretty crappy.
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