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  #1  
Old 10-18-2002, 01:09 PM
Guest84 Guest84 is offline
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Official "Insult" thread

Go ahead, make my day...matter of fact, your mothers so fat, people go into orbit around her!
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  #2  
Old 10-18-2002, 01:10 PM
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You probably asked your wife "What do you wear a bra for?" She told you "Same reason you wear briefs!"
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  #3  
Old 10-18-2002, 01:14 PM
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Her hair was so beautiful the way it grew all the way down her back. Too bad it didn't grow on her head!


Henny Youngman
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  #4  
Old 10-18-2002, 01:16 PM
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She was so bowlegged that when she sat around the house, she *really* sat around the house.


Henny Youngman
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  #5  
Old 10-18-2002, 01:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ripsnort
You probably asked your wife "What do you wear a bra for?" She told you "Same reason you wear briefs!"
Raises the question...Why are our undergarments called "briefs" and "shorts?"
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  #6  
Old 10-18-2002, 01:19 PM
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I knew there were better out there, keep em coming you bums!

BTW, your mama is so fat, she has to have a back up beeper active just to move around!
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  #7  
Old 10-18-2002, 01:20 PM
eric5150 eric5150 is offline
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Your momma's so ugly, she is the reason God made dark.

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  #8  
Old 10-18-2002, 01:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ripsnort
I knew there were better out there, keep em coming you bums!

BTW, your mama is so fat, she has to have a back up beeper active just to move around!
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  #9  
Old 10-18-2002, 01:24 PM
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"Question: Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey the most toxic waste dumps? Answer: New Jersey got first pick."

"It was so cold last week that I saw several attorneys with their hands in their own pockets. "

"Question: What's the difference between female prosecutors and terrorists? Answer: You can negotiate with terrorists. "


"A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man. The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked Mommy, why did they bury two men there?"

"Question: Why are lawyers buried in deeper graves than other folks? Answer: Deep down, they're much nicer people."


"A man went into the Chamber of Commerce of a small town, obviously desperate. He asked the man at the counter, Is there a criminal attorney in town? The man replied, Yes, but we can't prove it yet."

"Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats."

"Question: What do you have when you bury six lawyers up to their necks in sand? Answer: Not enough sand."

"Question: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? Answer: A doberman pinscher."


"Question: What do you get if you send a prostitute to law school? Answer: A ****ing know-it-all."

"Question: What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? Answer: A great place to start. "

"Question: What's the difference between a porcupine and two lawyers in a Porsche? Answer: The porcupine has the pricks on the outside. "



"Question: Do you know how to save five drowning lawyers? Answer: No. Reply:..Good!"

"Question: Why don't snakes bite attorneys? Answer: Professional courtesy."

"Question: Why do male attorneys usually wear tight shirt collars and ties? Answer: It keeps their foreskins from creeping up and covering their faces."

"Question: How can you tell that an attorney is about to lie? Answer: His lips begin to move."

"Question: How can you tell the difference between an attorney lying dead in the road and a coyote lying dead in the road? Answer: With the coyote, you usually see skid marks."

"Question: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: How many can you afford?"

"Question: What do you get if you send the Godfather to law school? Answer: An offer you can't understand."
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  #10  
Old 10-18-2002, 01:31 PM
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She's so fat, the National Weather Service names her farts.
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  #11  
Old 10-18-2002, 01:42 PM
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  #12  
Old 10-18-2002, 01:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by jpgurl (jana)
she's so fat, she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
she's so fat the phone company gave her her own area code.

Make that margarita and I'll bet we could come up with a whole bunch more.
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  #13  
Old 10-18-2002, 01:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by johnlew


Raises the question...Why are our undergarments called "briefs" and "shorts?"
Why do you have a pair of pants but only one bra?
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  #14  
Old 10-18-2002, 02:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by jpgurl (jana)


Could you imagine? The Festers posting drunk? Total chaos.
You mean you guys aren't drunk?
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  #15  
Old 10-18-2002, 02:04 PM
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Oh, and I have to put this up some more. I'm STILL laughing my ass off.

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  #16  
Old 10-18-2002, 02:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by jpgurl (jana)


not yet!
Operative word - yet
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  #17  
Old 10-18-2002, 02:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by jpgurl (jana)


deciding with co-workers where to go, as we speak...

Oh yeah, and keeping the thread alive... She's so hairy, if she could fly she'd look like a magic carpet.


I'm outta here for today. Vacation for the next two weeks then a business trip in Scranton, PA after that for 4 days.

Have a good weekend.
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  #18  
Old 10-18-2002, 02:47 PM
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Your mama is so ugly she has to creep up on water just to get a drink.
your mama is so ugly she stuck her head out a car window and got arrested for mooning
Your mama is so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he
doesn't have to kiss her goodbye
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  #19  
Old 10-18-2002, 05:21 PM
fastcat fastcat is offline
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What's grosser than gross?




When your grandmother gives you a kiss and slips you the tongue.
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  #20  
Old 10-18-2002, 08:11 PM
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Re: Official "Insult" thread

Quote:
Originally posted by Ripsnort
Go ahead, make my day...matter of fact, your mothers so fat, people go into orbit around her!
Thou elf-skinned death token!

And to keep the whole momma thing goin'...

I saw your momma on her knees in your daddy's BVDs beggin' for smack in the back of Chucky Cheeze.
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  #21  
Old 10-18-2002, 08:13 PM
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Grosser than gross? You open the refrigerator and the rump roast farts.

You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor slapped your mother.

I'm so bright my dad calls me sun.
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  #22  
Old 10-19-2002, 12:29 AM
Patrick Patrick is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jetfire
You mean you guys aren't drunk?
Hell yes. I live in Finland; 1.0 B.A.L. is require to operate here.

Patrick
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  #23  
Old 01-26-2006, 11:40 AM
ronqureshi ronqureshi is offline
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mama so...

Yo mama so fat that when she wore a "Malcolm X" tee-shirt, a helicopter tried to land on her stomach

Yo mama so fat, she was walking down the road, I swerved around her, and ran outta gas.

Yo mama so stoopid, she aint got no fingers, and she's talkin' 'bout pressing charges.
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  #24  
Old 01-26-2006, 12:01 PM
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Your mama's so fat, when she wakes up, she does it in sections.

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  #25  
Old 01-26-2006, 01:52 PM
SWISS SWISS is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shabba
Your mama's so fat, when she wakes up, she does it in sections.

Yo momma so fat she broke her lg and gravy came out.
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