BMW As Big Brother

Got a call this morning at 7:40 AM from my dealership attempting to schedule my BMW for service. I told the young lady that my indicator on the car tells me I still have 900 miles to go for service and if I bring it in early, it will not qualify for the free maintenance. She told me my 328i e-mailed the dealership service department () that the car needs service and yes it will be covered under the free maintenance and she proceeded to tell me exactly what the car needs to be done because the car told her so and that it has 14,666 miles on it which happened to be correct!
I told her I better watch what I do in that car from now on!
She proceeded to schedule a service appointment for me this Thursday at 10 AM and told me "your loaner will be waiting."

Very nice, but.... kind of creepy, in a way.

Another tour de force for BMW!

Bravo!!!

And I got an automatically generated letter telling me I've been driving through the FastLane (tm) lanes too fast.

And my wife gets an e-mail every time she or I use the credit card.

My dog keeps an eye on me no matter where in the house or yard I am.

(sigh)

Remember being fresh out of college and nobody knew or care what the hell you were doing?

Originally Posted by ProfessorCook

And I got an automatically generated letter telling me I've been driving through the FastLane (tm) lanes too fast.

And my wife gets an e-mail every time she or I use the credit card.

My dog keeps an eye on me no matter where in the house or yard I am.

(sigh)

Remember being fresh out of college and nobody knew or care what the hell you were doing?

Yes. A more innocent time.

Funny about the dog!

Originally Posted by ProfessorCook

Remember being fresh out of college and nobody knew or care what the hell you were doing?

Now-a-days in college you can't so much as sneeze without being posted on YouTube. Back when we were in college you could party, have sex anywhere, drink like a mad-man, snort drugs and still have an "upstanding" career is a conservative politician playing the innocent one. Now - just looking at a girls chest will get a picture of you on the Internet.

I used to be paranoid, but they told me not to worry...

When I go shopping for a used Porsche Cayman, I know that any Porsche dealer can get the car to cough up its complete ignition history showing the revs. range every time it was driven-an excellent tool to find out whether the vehicle may have been abused as in "over-revved."
It's not all bad.

This is *crazy*! How does this feature work... do all E92s have an IP address, can e-mail by themselves? Or is this just through BMW assist (so wouldn't be on some 3s without premium package)???

Very creepy. Soon I guess they can start ticketing you for speeding between toll booths, eh?

Originally Posted by ms330

This is *crazy*! How does this feature work... do all E92s have an IP address, can e-mail by themselves? Or is this just through BMW assist (so wouldn't be on some 3s without premium package)???

Very creepy. Soon I guess they can start ticketing you for speeding between toll booths, eh?

Actually, they've been able to do that for years.

Originally Posted by ms330

This is *crazy*! How does this feature work... do all E92s have an IP address, can e-mail by themselves? Or is this just through BMW assist (so wouldn't be on some 3s without premium package)???

Very creepy. Soon I guess they can start ticketing you for speeding between toll booths, eh?

I don't know how it works, but I better start washing the car a bit more. I don't want it "telling" on me.

Could be tied into the BMW Assist.

You should start freaking out when your car has this conversation with you:

Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
HAL: Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL?
HAL: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave Bowman: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.

So do you really want to try and screw with your car? We are past 2001

If it is in fact BMW Assist that sends an email or other form of notification, can BMW Assist can be deactivated. If it had not come with the ZPP package, I would not have ordered it as an option. Learning that the car has that big brother capability is bothersome.

Originally Posted by strider41

If it is in fact BMW Assist that sends an email or other form of notification, can BMW Assist can be deactivated. If it had not come with the ZPP package, I would not have ordered it as an option. Learning that the car has that big brother capability is bothersome.

Not only that, the receptionist woke me up at 7:30 AM this morning to tell me the good news. It surely could have waited until say, 10 AM.
I'm off on Mondays.

Originally Posted by hpowders

Not only that, the receptionist woke me up at 7:30 AM to tell me the good news.
I'm off on Mondays.

Don't be lazy! Embrace communism

Remember - In Soviet Russia your dealership tells you when to be serviced!

I'm not saying this is the reason I purposely did NOT get BMW Assist on my car; it's just that I didn't want to drive around with a foil hat on all the time.

Originally Posted by Oldtoe

a foil hat

Tin Foil Hat.

No wonder your protection hasn't been working for you. You've been using the wrong material!

Oh. Sh@#.

(Funniest thread in a long damned time.)

Yeah. It's through BMW assist. And... it might even work if you don't get BMW Assist.

Originally Posted by furby076

Don't be lazy! Embrace communism

Remember - In Soviet Russia your dealership tells you when to be serviced!

I'm leaving my phone off the hook before I go to bed on Sunday nights from now on.... while I still can!

Originally Posted by hpowders

I'm leaving my phone off the hook before I go to bed on Sunday nights from now on.... while I still can!

They'll be knocking on your door. From my understanding they hire Jehovahs Witness to do this work (better ROI).

And you can be saved at the same time.

('Not quite sure where the Jehovahs stand on BMWs. I'm pretty sure the Mormons are o.k. with 'em.)

This can be both a good thing and a bad thing. Good thing because in case you don't pay attention and forget when you need service (its possible I'm sure, doesn't happen to me, but if it did) your BMW service will contact you and remind you. On the other hand, its bad because they're sort of keeping track of you. So can be a double-edge sword

Its BMW Assist, and IMO no need to be worried.

Assist is like a data call, it is not on all the time monitoring your car/position/etc. When you press the SOS button is the only time it submits your position and car status to them for accident/emergency reasons. The car also makes the call on its own when it needs service and lets the dealer know stats for service reasons.

Not a big deal at all and kinda nice I think. Plus if you are worried about big brother dont ever take it in for service again...the computer diag can tell them a LOT more than Assist ever will.

Like all things in life, from any age and any time, tools can be used for good or for bad. A hammer is a wonderful tool - i can use it to build a house or bash someone's head in. Hopefully this tool will be used to help people not hurt them.

BTW - nice sig you got there BMW gal. Like the image.

Originally Posted by ProfessorCook

And you can be saved at the same time.

('Not quite sure where the Jehovahs stand on BMWs. I'm pretty sure the Mormons are o.k. with 'em.)

Mormons think it is okay to have several in fact. Jehovah's witnesses get upset if you use someone else's oil.

Originally Posted by ProfessorCook

My dog keeps an eye on me no matter where in the house or yard I am.

(sigh)

Remember being fresh out of college and nobody knew or care what the hell you were doing?

You know, unless I was carrying food, my dog never cared what the hell I was doing.