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  #1  
Old 02-15-2004, 09:38 AM
GalBimmer GalBimmer is offline
She's baaaack! :-)
 
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Unhappy I can't put this off any longer

It's sleeting outside, tunes are cranked, receipts are lined up and Tax Cut is loaded...
Time for the annual tax-fest at GalBimmer's house.
If it goes well, I'll have to drink some vino.
If goes goes poorly, I'll have to drink some vino.

I hope you all have happy endings this year.
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  #2  
Old 02-15-2004, 09:40 AM
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pintnight pintnight is offline
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Wish you the best of luck.
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  #3  
Old 02-15-2004, 09:45 AM
Cliff Cliff is offline
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Many happy returns (I did my taxes 2 weeks ago and have already received my refunds).
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  #4  
Old 02-15-2004, 10:00 AM
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pintnight pintnight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cliff3
Many happy returns (I did my taxes 2 weeks ago and have already received my refunds).
You get it back electronically? I did mine either 2 or 3 weeks ago and still waiting for my refund. I filed electronically but I still opt out for the check. There's something I don't like about giving the IRS my routing and bank account number.
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  #5  
Old 02-15-2004, 10:27 AM
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glaws glaws is offline
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I did much the same thing, several years ago. Gloomy day, stereo on, bottle of good single-malt scotch nearby. Finished the return in record time and reviewed it - perfect!!

Of course, the next day when I looked at it I had to do it all over again
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  #6  
Old 02-15-2004, 10:28 AM
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Patrick330i Patrick330i is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalBimmer
It's sleeting outside, tunes are cranked, receipts are lined up and Tax Cut is loaded...
Time for the annual tax-fest at GalBimmer's house.
If it goes well, I'll have to drink some vino.
If goes goes poorly, I'll have to drink some vino.

I hope you all have happy endings this year.
I think what you meant to say is that "if it goes poorly, I'll have to drink more vino."

Good luck.
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  #7  
Old 02-15-2004, 10:29 AM
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pintnight pintnight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick330i
I think what you meant to say is that "if it goes poorly, I'll have to drink more vino."

Good luck.
Don't be correcting her now! Now, she will have to drink even more vino.
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  #8  
Old 02-15-2004, 10:37 AM
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Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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I say we all stop paying taxes ... if we all stick together then they can't get each and everyone of us whatchuthink??? I say we stand up to the IRS and show them who's boss ....




I guess I better not have so many crepes for breakfast, eh??
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  #9  
Old 02-15-2004, 10:38 AM
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pintnight pintnight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabrina
I say we all stop paying taxes ... if we all stick together then they can't get each and everyone of us whatchuthink??? I say we stand up to the IRS and show them who's boss ....




I guess I better not have so many crepes for breakfast, eh??
Eh, that's sound like a great plan. When's the first gathering? Should I bring crepes, eh?
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  #10  
Old 02-15-2004, 10:42 AM
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Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pintnight
Eh, that's sound like a great plan. When's the first gathering? Should I bring crepes, eh?
Yeah!!!! ... I knew my idea would catch on ... The gathering has begun already ... come as you are ... Don't worry about the crepes, I have enough cognac, rum here for everyone, we'll just make believe the strawberries and sugar are in them
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  #11  
Old 02-15-2004, 10:48 AM
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Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Is this you GalBimmer ... Hey I found an easy form for you ...
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  #12  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:01 AM
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pintnight pintnight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabrina
Yeah!!!! ... I knew my idea would catch on ... The gathering has begun already ... come as you are ... Don't worry about the crepes, I have enough cognac, rum here for everyone, we'll just make believe the strawberries and sugar are in them
Okay, there are two that I know so far. Think that just the two of us can pull it off?

Can you bring some beers? I like Redhook ESB.
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  #13  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:04 AM
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glaws glaws is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabrina
Yeah!!!! ... I knew my idea would catch on ... The gathering has begun already ... come as you are ... Don't worry about the crepes, I have enough cognac, rum here for everyone, we'll just make believe the strawberries and sugar are in them
I might rethink your invitation to pintnight to "come as he is".
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  #14  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:07 AM
Cliff Cliff is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pintnight
You get it back electronically? I did mine either 2 or 3 weeks ago and still waiting for my refund. I filed electronically but I still opt out for the check. There's something I don't like about giving the IRS my routing and bank account number.
If the IRS needs my checking account number, they don't need my permission to get it. In the meantime, direct deposit is faster and cheaper for the gov't to process than a check.
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  #15  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:09 AM
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Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pintnight
Okay, there are two that I know so far. Think that just the two of us can pull it off?

Can you bring some beers? I like Redhook ESB.
It only takes two I think we could pull it off ...

Beers??? no problemo ... gotcha covered ... I'll bring the Reeboks ...
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  #16  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:09 AM
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pintnight pintnight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glaws
I might rethink your invitation to pintnight to "come as he is".
Yes, she will have to get used to me having no appendix now.
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  #17  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:10 AM
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Patrick330i Patrick330i is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pintnight
Don't be correcting her now! Now, she will have to drink even more vino.
Ooops!
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Last edited by Patrick330i; 02-15-2004 at 11:13 AM.
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  #18  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:10 AM
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pintnight pintnight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabrina
It only takes two I think we could pull it off ...

Beers??? no problemo ... gotcha covered ... I'll bring the Reeboks ...
Cool, never had Reeboks before. Are you sure it's beer? Hope it doesn't have too much fungus in them.
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  #19  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:12 AM
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Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glaws
I might rethink your invitation to pintnight to "come as he is".

I caught that ...
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"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ WOO HOO what a ride!"
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  #20  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:16 AM
GalBimmer GalBimmer is offline
She's baaaack! :-)
 
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stop! you're distracting me!
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  #21  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:17 AM
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Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pintnight
Cool, never had Reeboks before. Are you sure it's beer? Hope it doesn't have too much fungus in them.
Ahhh you worry too much ... ... Redhook Reeboks, same thing ...
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"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ~ WOO HOO what a ride!"
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  #22  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:18 AM
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pintnight pintnight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalBimmer
stop! you're distracting me!
Turn your computer off, that will help you to stop looking at this thread.
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  #23  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:19 AM
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Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalBimmer
stop! you're distracting me!
WAIT ... I almost forgot ... don't forget the PENI$/BREAST tax



THE PENI$ TAX / BREAST TAX

The only thing the I.R.S. has not taxed is the peni$. This is due to the fact that:

40% of the time it's hanging around unemployed.

20% of the time it's pissed off.

30% of the time it's hard up.

10% of the time it is in the hole.

On top of all this, it has two dependants and they are both nuts.

Accordingly, starting January 1, 1999, peni$es will be taxed according to size. To determine the category, please consult the chart below and confirm this information of Page 2, Section 7, Line 3, of the standard 1040P form.

10 to 12 Inches = Luxury Tax $50.00

8 to 10 inches = Pole Tax $30.00

6 to 8 inches = Privilege Tax $15.00

4 to 6 inches = Nuisance Tax $5.00

PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.

PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN EXTENSION.

* Males exceeding 12 inches must file Capital Gains.

Sincerely,

Pecker Checker
Internal Revenue Service


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Since the IRS has decided to tax men's peni$es, it has come to believe that women shouldn't be left out. So they have decided that a Breast Tax is in order.

Please refer to the chart below for your tax computation:

AA cup Flat rate $ 5.00
A cup Slight rise $10.00
B cup Normal rate $15.00
C cup Over abundant rate $20.00
D cup* "Are they real?" rate $40.00

PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under AA cup is eligible for a refund.

PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN ENLARGEMENT!!!

* Females exceeding D cup should consult their tax advisor for the KNOCK YOUR EYES OUT Capital Gains tax.
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  #24  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:19 AM
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pintnight pintnight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabrina
Ahhh you worry too much ... ... Redhook Reeboks, same thing ...
Is that how you pronouce Redhook in Canada as in "Reeboks"? If so, that makes perfect since.
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  #25  
Old 02-15-2004, 11:21 AM
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Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pintnight
Is that how you pronouce Redhook in Canada as in "Reeboks"? If so, that makes perfect since.

You misspelled "since" ...


I'm back home now ... although I did bring the "eh" with me
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