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E90/E91/E92/E93 (2006 - 2013)
The E9X is the 4th evolution of the BMW 3 series including a highly tuned twin turbo 335i variant pushing out 300hp and 300 ft. lbs. of torque. BMW continues to show that it sets the bar for true driving performance! -- View the E9X Wiki

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  #1  
Old 03-29-2011, 05:55 PM
CALWATERBOY's Avatar
CALWATERBOY CALWATERBOY is offline
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Location: San Francisco
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 10,009
Mein Auto: 2009 E93 N54
09 E93 Top IMPOTENCE

My E93, <20,000 mi, went into total erectile dysfunction yesterday.

Though the trunk unzipped and opened, my unit couldn't get it up!

I had nothing. Nada. I pushed all my buttons, but my unit remained nestled in place, unable to perform....

Devastated and lacking any confidence whatsoever, I contacted my dealer, hoping for a fix.

Oh, the humanity! SA observing, very professionally I must say, again I opened my trunk so he could inspect my junk.

Clearly inoperative, Bimmer Doctors went right to work, my MoJo at stake!

2 relays later, the Joy returned! Thank heaven!

Folks, gotta say, BMW's warranty works for me.

Last edited by CALWATERBOY; 03-30-2011 at 01:55 AM.
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  #2  
Old 03-29-2011, 06:13 PM
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Nordic_Kat Nordic_Kat is offline
Omnia in modum
Location: Texas
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 7,231
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CALWATERBOY View Post
My E93, <20,000 mi, went into total erectile dysfunction yesterday.

Though the trunk unzipped and opened, my unit couldn't get it up!

I had nothing. Nada. I pushed all my buttons, but my unit remained nestled in place, unable to perform....

Devastated and lacking any confidence whatsoever, I contacted me dealer, hoping for a fix.

Oh, the humanity! SA observing, very professionally I must say, again I opened my trunk so he could inspect my junk.

Clearly inoperative, Bimmer Doctors went right to work, my MoJo at stake!

2 relays later, the Joy returned! Thank heavens!

Folks, gotta say, BMW's warranty works for me.
Basking in the afterglow, are ye? Care to share which relays went south?

Inquiring minds want to know.
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  #3  
Old 03-29-2011, 06:14 PM
DSXMachina's Avatar
DSXMachina DSXMachina is offline
Non compos Mentos
Location: New Hampshire
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 10,375
Mein Auto: 335i E92 TiAg 6MT ED
Quote:
Originally Posted by CALWATERBOY View Post
My E93, <20,000 mi, went into total erectile dysfunction yesterday.

Though the trunk unzipped and opened, my unit couldn't get it up

I had nothing. Nada. I pushed all my buttons, but my unit remained nestled in place, unable to perform....

Devastated and lacking any confidence whatsoever, I contacted me dealer, hoping for a fix.

Oh, the humanity! SA observing, very professionally I must say, again I opened my trunk so he could inspect my junk.

Clearly inoperative, Bimmer Doctors went right to work, my MoJo at stake!

2 relays later, the Joy returned! Thank heavens!

Folks, gotta say, BMW's warranty works for me.

Well done.


Levitra, Viagra, Cialis

In a sorry state our poor Cal is!

The button's pushed, his ego was squooshed,

But he bears his Bimmer no malice.

Last edited by DSXMachina; 03-29-2011 at 06:33 PM.
  #4  
Old 03-29-2011, 07:12 PM
clarkcc1 clarkcc1 is offline
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Location: Bay Area, CA
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,074
Mein Auto: 07 335i convertible
Quote:
Originally Posted by CALWATERBOY View Post
My E93, <20,000 mi, went into total erectile dysfunction yesterday.

Though the trunk unzipped and opened, my unit couldn't get it up!

I had nothing. Nada. I pushed all my buttons, but my unit remained nestled in place, unable to perform....

Devastated and lacking any confidence whatsoever, I contacted me dealer, hoping for a fix.

Oh, the humanity! SA observing, very professionally I must say, again I opened my trunk so he could inspect my junk.

Clearly inoperative, Bimmer Doctors went right to work, my MoJo at stake!

2 relays later, the Joy returned! Thank heavens!

Folks, gotta say, BMW's warranty works for me.
Nice limerick (maybe?)

Yes, OP, inquiring minds want to know the exact failures! ? Glad to hear it only took two days... argh.
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2004 325Ci coupe Silvergrey/Sand/step/loaded - sold 8/2007
2007 335i convertible, space grey/coral red/grey poplar, step, paddles, premium, sport, cold weather, PDC, comfort access, iDrive, sirius, 6FL ... succumbed to fuel pump too many times, bought back via lemon laws by BMW NA
  #5  
Old 03-29-2011, 07:26 PM
DSXMachina's Avatar
DSXMachina DSXMachina is offline
Non compos Mentos
Location: New Hampshire
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 10,375
Mein Auto: 335i E92 TiAg 6MT ED
Levitra, Viagra, Cialis

In a sorry state our poor Cal is!

The button's pushed, his ego was squooshed,

But he bears his Bimmer no malice.

(Second verse)

Levitra, Viagra, Cialis

Equating his roof with a phallus!

If down's no fun, neither's a bad pun,

Cal's post on Bimmerfest's so callous!

(Sorry, I had half a bottle of Zinfandel lying around and this is the consequence of me trying to avoid waste)

Last edited by DSXMachina; 03-29-2011 at 07:43 PM.
  #6  
Old 03-29-2011, 07:54 PM
Nordic_Kat's Avatar
Nordic_Kat Nordic_Kat is offline
Omnia in modum
Location: Texas
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 7,231
Mein Auto: Certified Garage Princess
Quote:
Originally Posted by DSXMachina View Post
Levitra, Viagra, Cialis

In a sorry state our poor Cal is!

The button's pushed, his ego was squooshed,

But he bears his Bimmer no malice.

(Second verse)

Levitra, Viagra, Cialis

Equating his roof with a phallus!

If down's no fun, neither's a bad pun,

Cal's post on Bimmerfest's so callous!

(Sorry, I had half a bottle of Zinfandel lying around and this is the consequence of me trying to avoid waste)
Only half a bottle?
  #7  
Old 03-29-2011, 08:04 PM
DSXMachina's Avatar
DSXMachina DSXMachina is offline
Non compos Mentos
Location: New Hampshire
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 10,375
Mein Auto: 335i E92 TiAg 6MT ED
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nordic_Kat View Post
Only half a bottle?
Low tolerance for alcohol, high tolerance for inanity.
  #8  
Old 03-30-2011, 06:07 AM
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FCBayernFTW FCBayernFTW is online now
Original *****
Location: Colorado
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,269
Mein Auto: '09 E90 LCI
so where will the Mods move this to?
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Last edited by FCBayernFTW; 03-30-2011 at 06:09 AM.
  #9  
Old 03-30-2011, 07:21 AM
jelliotlevy jelliotlevy is offline
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Location: Hilton Head Island, SC
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 927
Mein Auto: 2011BMW 335i, Honda S2000
[QUOTE=CALWATERBOY;5956680]My E93, <20,000 mi, went into total erectile dysfunction yesterday.

Though the trunk unzipped and opened, my unit couldn't get it up!

...........

Of course, if your top gets up and stays up for more than four hours, you should see your doctor immediately.
  #10  
Old 03-30-2011, 07:46 AM
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Emission Emission is offline
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Location: North of Los Angeles, CA
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 10,692
Mein Auto: Schnelle Autos
Cute, but not going to happen. Nice try guys.

** CLOSED **

- Mike
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