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Go Back   Bimmerfest - BMW Forums > BMW Model Discussions > 3 Series / 4 Series > E90/E91/E92/E93 (2006 - 2013)

E90/E91/E92/E93 (2006 - 2013)
The E9X is the 4th evolution of the BMW 3 series including a highly tuned twin turbo 335i variant pushing out 300hp and 300 ft. lbs. of torque. BMW continues to show that it sets the bar for true driving performance! -- View the E9X Wiki

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  #1  
Old 12-21-2014, 06:57 PM
mikesevel mikesevel is offline
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A bmw christmas poem from texas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through my E93 Bimmer,
the engine was roundly balking and it's no longer a screamer.

The culprits certainly could not be the spark plugs,
I replaced them last month along with new wheel lugs.

My mind was really racing, actually it began to roil,
now I'm thinking I probably have a bad coil.

My Vanos was new and so was my OEM air filter,
something else is throwing performance out of kilter.

The engine bay is clean, certainly nothing is shoddy,
Now I wonder if I have a fouled up throttle body.

This dilemma is certainly getting ever so denser,
Could I be experiencing a failing MAF sensor?

My wife heard me grumbling and said "Man alive,
I filled up your gas tank with 7-11 store regular e85".

Now my lesson is learned and if you duly please,
If the wife wants to drive the Bimmer hide the keys!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO Y'ALL FROM THE HEART OF TEXAS.
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  #2  
Old 12-21-2014, 08:22 PM
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SilverX3 SilverX3 is offline
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Mein Auto: 130i & E92 325i, E90 SOLD
you're areal Poet

Happy Holidays
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  #3  
Old 12-21-2014, 10:18 PM
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Mein Auto: e90 AW 325i
I feel like crowd funding your future greeting card endeavors. We could sell them at dealerships
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  #4  
Old 12-22-2014, 04:44 AM
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rdkind62 rdkind62 is offline
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Well written, but I would have thought that E85 would have that thing screamin' down the road.
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  #5  
Old 12-22-2014, 05:29 AM
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  #6  
Old 12-22-2014, 01:08 PM
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GarySL GarySL is offline
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My wife hates your poem. Merry Christmas!
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  #7  
Old 12-22-2014, 01:45 PM
BMW3SERIESFAN BMW3SERIESFAN is offline
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Great Poem, Merry Christmas
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  #8  
Old 12-22-2014, 02:03 PM
Robin128 Robin128 is offline
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Mein Auto: 335i auto, Volvo T5 man
Nadoleg Llawen!

[
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  #9  
Old 12-22-2014, 06:24 PM
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Nordic_Kat Nordic_Kat is offline
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Ausgezeichnet!!

Excellent execution!!!



Quote:
Originally Posted by GarySL View Post
My wife hates your poem. Merry Christmas!
My husband loves the poem!


Merry Christmas!
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  #10  
Old 12-22-2014, 07:03 PM
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SilverX3 SilverX3 is offline
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you should turn this poem into a song...
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  #11  
Old 12-22-2014, 11:51 PM
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rdkind62 rdkind62 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robin128 View Post
Nadoleg Llawen!

[
I noticed the Welch Dragon with your Merry Christmas. My wife is Welsh and we have a Welsh dragon hanging outside our front door. I also have a sister-in-law that still lives there in Cardiff. Blwyddyn newydd dda.
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  #12  
Old Yesterday, 04:32 PM
Robin128 Robin128 is offline
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Brilliant place Wales...born in Gorseinon, Schooled in Swansea moved to Cardiff in '88.

Welsh folk are very friendly...perfect strangers talk to each other without formal introduction. Historically a steel and mining industry giving rise to community spirit etc

Know a few Welsh words, sayings and cusses, although father was Welsh speaking.

Cardiff has transformed for the better in last 25 years, unlike Swansea.

Have a great one everyone...Dduw bendithia Amerig!

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  #13  
Old Yesterday, 05:34 PM
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Kamdog Kamdog is offline
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A Christmas pome, from Brooklyn,

Quote:
Sal Monella's 'A Child's Christmas in Brooklyn'

by Rob Bartlett

Twas the night before Christmas in Sheepshead Bay
The kids was asleep, waitin' for the big day
The Stockings were hung by the furnace with care
In hopes that by morning, they would all still be there

Me and this skank were gettin' ready for bed
I wore pajamas she had a paper bag for her head
When up on the roof, I heard this big crash
Thought it was a burglar, I was gonna kick ass

Went out on the fire escape, looked up in the sky,
And what did I see? This freakin' fat guy
With a red suit and boots that came up to his knees
In the moonlight he looked just like Dom Deluise

He had this big sled pulled by these reindeer
He called one of them 'Dancer' so I assumed he was queer
As he crept off the roof it became clear to me
That this guy was lookin' to steal my TV

Cos' over his shoulder he had a big sack
He came down the stairs, while I planned my attack
I waited a second, 'till the time it seemed ripe
And smacked him in the head...badda bing wit a pipe

He fell to the floor wit a groan and a thud
I was kinda surprised I didn't see blood
Instead he rolled over looked me right in the eye
When I saw who I hit I nearly started to cry

I said 'Ay yo, Santa, I'm sorry, aright?'
"Not for nuthin'" he said, "but this just ain't my night"
"I got lost in the Bronx, I ran over some nuns...
"Had a near miss by Kennedy...Rudolph's got the runs
"I'm out all freakin' night and I'm bustin' my hump
"But I can't continue now, not with this bump
"So do me a favor and be a real pal...take over for me, you be Santa Claus, Sal"

I said "I'm from Brooklyn...I ain't right for the part"
But he told me that Santa Claus... 'Comes from the heart'.
He made me an offer I couldn't refuse: Stop at every house...except for the Jews
I got in the boots and stepped onto the sleigh
Wondering why reindeers all smelled that way

That night I was Santa bringin' kids joy and bliss
And if you don't believe me, then yo' jingle this
Since then I been wit him every year in the cold
Ridin' shotgun with Santa...cos' he's fat and he's old

I'm his number one helper I been deputized
So on this Christmas Eve, don't you be surprised
If you hear a voice say really loud and abrupt
'Merry Christmas to all...thanks a lot...shut up'.
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  #14  
Old Yesterday, 10:32 PM
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rdkind62 rdkind62 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robin128 View Post
Brilliant place Wales...born in Gorseinon, Schooled in Swansea moved to Cardiff in '88.

Welsh folk are very friendly...perfect strangers talk to each other without formal introduction. Historically a steel and mining industry giving rise to community spirit etc

Know a few Welsh words, sayings and cusses, although father was Welsh speaking.

Cardiff has transformed for the better in last 25 years, unlike Swansea.

Have a great one everyone...Dduw bendithia Amerig!

Wow!. We are getting really close now. Wife grew up in Ystalyfera.
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  #15  
Old Today, 07:18 AM
MAGjersey MAGjersey is offline
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Mein Auto: 2011 328i X-Drive
GREAT POEM!!! Never let the women fill the tank! MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!
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  #16  
Old Today, 07:35 AM
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kunal_D kunal_D is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kamdog View Post
A Christmas pome, from Brooklyn,
This one's even better!
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  #17  
Old Today, 12:13 PM
Robin128 Robin128 is offline
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Mein Auto: 335i auto, Volvo T5 man
Rdkind62,

Pass thru Ystalyfera when I go shooting at Sennibridge Army ranges ...Remington 700 of course.

Swansea valley is fabulous as is The Gower.
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  #18  
Old Today, 12:34 PM
Robin128 Robin128 is offline
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Nice one Kamdog!

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