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Go Back   Bimmerfest - BMW Forums > BMW Model Discussions > 3 Series / 4 Series > E36 (1991 - 1999)

E36 (1991 - 1999)
The E36 chassis 3-Series BMW was a huge hit among driving enthusiasts from the first moment the car hit the pavement. The E36 won numerous awards over the years it was produced and is still a favorite of many BMW enthusiasts to this day! -- View the E36 Wiki

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  #1  
Old 01-19-2012, 08:44 AM
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LaCrosse540i6 LaCrosse540i6 is offline
Smiling from gear to gear
Location: WI
 
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Mein Auto: '03 540i M-sport
Official "Your car ad sucks, it's going to be listed here because it sucks" thread

Almost everyday I'm scouring through eBay, CL, Autotrader (Autotarder isn't the same site, just for reference), forums, etc.. looking for BMW's (even more so now that I'm trying to sell mine). I find maybe one out of twenty is very well written and about the same amount are so terribly written with misinformation and blatant lies that I have to create a thread to complain about it.

So, let's get started! Here's a list of a few things that will guarantee I won't buy your car and now I'm going to flame you on principle alone.

- M3 clone (no, you just have an 325is with a cool bumper)
- Automatic and manual (don't try and church it up son)
- V6 (it's not, you have no business selling BMW's or any car for that matter)
- Very fast (no)
- All maintenance is up to date (prove it or no)
- Loaded with every option (those are all standard)
- '95 M3 250k, $13,000 (it's not an LTW, and your price offends me. no)
- New timing belt (You have an m50 with a chain, what exactly did you just replace?)

Feel free to add things that irritate you about crappy car ad's and post specific ones here.

Go nuts!
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  #2  
Old 01-19-2012, 10:28 AM
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hornhospital hornhospital is offline
D'oh, You kids!
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Mein Auto: 1995 318is / 1993 325is
ANY version of "I know what I have and what it's worth, so don't insult me" (yes, and so do I. That's why I'm offering you what it's worth in the real world, not the imaginary world you live in)

or my least favorite: "Serious inquiries/offers only" (OK, I'm serious, here's my offer. Take it or leave it (you pompous jacka$$) )

Sound familiar?
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guessing gets expensive...drivinfaster
nothing is more expensive than a cheap BMW...c4harpe13

Ken Kanne, Silverhill, AL, E36 Forum Mod/Craigslist addict/Hoarder of all sorts of stuff
BMW-CCA #441426
1995 318is "Bebe"; 1993 325is "Elvira" 1985 635CSi "Katja" 1984 633CSi "Sylvia"
HAVE I HAD MY MEDS YET?

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  #3  
Old 01-19-2012, 11:26 AM
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LaCrosse540i6 LaCrosse540i6 is offline
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Location: WI
 
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Mein Auto: '03 540i M-sport
I hope that's not supposed to be me!
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  #4  
Old 01-19-2012, 12:57 PM
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E36 Phantom E36 Phantom is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hornhospital View Post
ANY version of "I know what I have and what it's worth, so don't insult me" (yes, and so do I. That's why I'm offering you what it's worth in the real world, not the imaginary world you live in)
+100

And it's ALWAYS accompanied by some beat to crap high mileage car that has a long list of issues.
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  #5  
Old 01-19-2012, 01:02 PM
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veteran011 veteran011 is offline
WARNING: Has Dumb Ideas
Location: Westchester Co, NY
 
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Mein Auto: 97 328is
"This car is perfect inside and out" when pictures show blatantly otherwise. or the pictures that WOULD show otherwise are conveniently omitted.
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Project List:
Replace coolant temp sensor
Replace starter
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Front Control Arms, Bushings, and Tie Rods
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  #6  
Old 01-19-2012, 01:50 PM
RhymeGrime RhymeGrime is offline
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Excellent, or great on gas... I wouldn't say excellent by any means, maybe decent.

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  #7  
Old 01-19-2012, 01:55 PM
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veteran011 veteran011 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RhymeGrime View Post
great on gas...
for an 20-12 yr old straight 6 with ~200hp i'd call it great on gas.
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dab of oppo anyone?



Project List:
Replace coolant temp sensor
Replace starter
Brake and Power Steering Fluid Flush
Front Control Arms, Bushings, and Tie Rods
Replace Passenger Lock Actuator
Reglue Peeling Hedliner
Swirl removal
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  #8  
Old 01-19-2012, 01:58 PM
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Kdoherty Kdoherty is offline
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Location: The cradle of Liberty
 
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Mein Auto: A redhead E90
hey I averaged 34mpg highway on a 1200 mile trip. that IS good, even these days.
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Drop the clutch, proceed and ain't care.
  • '06 325xi 6MT
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  #9  
Old 01-19-2012, 02:03 PM
RhymeGrime RhymeGrime is offline
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Mein Auto: 325iC
Highest I hit was 30 highway on my M50, which is decent, not good.

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  #10  
Old 01-19-2012, 02:06 PM
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Kdoherty Kdoherty is offline
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I'm sure that if I had a new air filter, plugs, fuel filter, trans, and diff service i could have skirted pretty close to 37. That's with the M52 though.

All bets are off now though with my cams, tune, M50 mani, headers, cat back, and eventually the supercharger... ill be lucky to avg. 25.
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Originally Posted by cj.surr View Post
Drop the clutch, proceed and ain't care.
  • '06 325xi 6MT
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  #11  
Old 01-19-2012, 02:06 PM
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Kdoherty Kdoherty is offline
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****ing double post.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cj.surr View Post
Drop the clutch, proceed and ain't care.
  • '06 325xi 6MT

Last edited by Kdoherty; 01-19-2012 at 02:08 PM.
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  #12  
Old 01-19-2012, 02:12 PM
RhymeGrime RhymeGrime is offline
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M52? What speed were you at? If I do 55 I can get decent mileage, in NC the highway speed is generally 80mph, that's where I got my 30 MPG figure

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  #13  
Old 01-19-2012, 02:18 PM
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Kdoherty Kdoherty is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RhymeGrime View Post
M52? What speed were you at? If I do 55 I can get decent mileage, in NC the highway speed is generally 80mph, that's where I got my 30 MPG figure

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M52 is the 2.8L that the 328i has. I was in 5th gear between 70-80mph the whole time. No cruise control, just very nice to the accelerator.

also FWIW my MAF was unplugged the whole time too it didn't affect how it ran though
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Originally Posted by cj.surr View Post
Drop the clutch, proceed and ain't care.
  • '06 325xi 6MT
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  #14  
Old 01-19-2012, 02:24 PM
RhymeGrime RhymeGrime is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kdoherty View Post
M52 is the 2.8L that the 328i has. I was in 5th gear between 70-80mph the whole time. No cruise control, just very nice to the accelerator.

also FWIW my MAF was unplugged the whole time too it didn't affect how it ran though
I'm familiar with the M52, Just didn't know what engine you got your figure from. I'm pretty surprised, I didn't think it was possible to get more than 32mpg on the m50 let alone the m52, and I was doing 80mph the entire time WITH cruise control on for like 300 miles.

Did you Manually Calculate or do it through the OBC? I need some MPG mods
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  #15  
Old 01-19-2012, 02:32 PM
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Kdoherty Kdoherty is offline
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Mein Auto: A redhead E90
well when striving for fuel econo. cruise is the enemy because it's constantly fvcking with the throttle. tire inflation is a big one. load distribution. using good fuel, i run the highest octane i can purchase if i can help it, i don't want to turn this into a fuel debate but there IS a difference and it matters. I had also just changed the oil over to synthetic for the trip, im sure that aided. clean filters. Don't smash the go pedal when you need to speed up, easy on the brakes as well, and if you have a standard, don't let those revs hang, shift as soon as you situationally can. I stayed in 5th gear for almost the entirety of the trip save for stopping for fuel. I calculated my fuel consumption by the amount of fuel over distance traveled as well as what the OBC told me, the discrepancy was minimal.
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Drop the clutch, proceed and ain't care.
  • '06 325xi 6MT
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  #16  
Old 01-19-2012, 02:40 PM
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BMR_LVR BMR_LVR is offline
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Location: Asheboro, NC
 
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Mein Auto: 1992 525i
Quote:
Originally Posted by RhymeGrime View Post
M52? What speed were you at? If I do 55 I can get decent mileage, in NC the highway speed is generally 80mph, that's where I got my 30 MPG figure

Sent from my DROIDX using Bimmer
Where? The highest speed I'm aware of is 70 mph on I-40.
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It's Deja Poo - as in, I've heard this **** before.
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1991 735i - Sold
1992 525i - Sold
1995 325is - Sold
2000 528i - Sold

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  #17  
Old 01-19-2012, 02:50 PM
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drivinfaster drivinfaster is offline
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i like the things like 'perfect, only needs...', and then the ad proceeds to try to sell you on how 'simple' of a fix it is...

orly??

then do it yourself and then sell the car...



df
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  #18  
Old 01-19-2012, 03:25 PM
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B1MM3R B1MM3R is offline
Jesse Moon Bayne
Location: Roanoke, VA
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kdoherty View Post
I'm sure that if I had a new air filter, plugs, fuel filter, trans, and diff service i could have skirted pretty close to 37. That's with the M52 though.

All bets are off now though with my cams, tune, M50 mani, headers, cat back, and eventually the supercharger... ill be lucky to avg. 25.
Yea with my mods on the s50 i get about 25 highway and 17 city....when had the m42 in I got 42 highway and 32 city....the 328i got 34 highway and 27 city and it had 180xxx miles on her.
I think for inline 6's the bmw's do really well on gas for there age and how fun they are to drive.
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2007 X5 3.0si (Wifes)
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  #19  
Old 01-19-2012, 03:38 PM
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Kdoherty Kdoherty is offline
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my baby girl is pushing 196k
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Originally Posted by cj.surr View Post
Drop the clutch, proceed and ain't care.
  • '06 325xi 6MT
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  #20  
Old 01-19-2012, 05:25 PM
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petriej petriej is offline
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Totally derailed this thread.

I love it.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hornhospital View Post
Jared, why don't you just put "It's Giubo" in your sig? Save a lot of typing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by e36 miguel View Post
this jared guy sounds intimidating lol.
2005 X5 4.8is Le Mans/Black/6spd Steptragic
1999 M3 Cabrio TiAg Metallic/Dove Grey/Black 5 Speed Manual
-------------------------------------------------------------------
1997 328iC Schwarz II/K/K 5MT SOLD 5/2012
2004 645Ci Mineral Silver Metallic/Black 6MT RIP 04/2011
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  #21  
Old 01-19-2012, 05:38 PM
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E36 Phantom E36 Phantom is online now
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Can someone pass whatever you guys are smoking?

32? 38? On cars that are rated 26 freeway? Now they're pushing 200k miles and 15 years old and you guys are getting 46% better fuel economy than they got when new under ideal conditions?
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// 1999 Chevy Tahoe //



Quote:
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You're a derbanana
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  #22  
Old 01-19-2012, 05:40 PM
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Gooby Gooby is offline
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Edit: nvm
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Last edited by Gooby; 01-19-2012 at 05:42 PM.
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  #23  
Old 01-19-2012, 05:42 PM
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petriej petriej is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by E36 Phantom View Post
Can someone pass whatever you guys are smoking?

32? 38? On cars that are rated 26 freeway? Now they're pushing 200k miles and 15 years old and you guys are getting 46% better fuel economy than they got when new under ideal conditions?
When I had my E36 sedan I could hypermile and get 36mpg. Verified via fuel and odometer. Gotta remember the reason mpgs have stayed mostly the same over the past 20 years is because of emissions regulations. If we could dump the **** we used to put out the tailpipe the cars these days could get 50mpg easy. Instead we have SULEV cars that only get 28mpg.


The original topic had something to do with ranting about poorly worded and just plain wrong craigslist and ebay listings.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hornhospital View Post
Jared, why don't you just put "It's Giubo" in your sig? Save a lot of typing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by e36 miguel View Post
this jared guy sounds intimidating lol.
2005 X5 4.8is Le Mans/Black/6spd Steptragic
1999 M3 Cabrio TiAg Metallic/Dove Grey/Black 5 Speed Manual
-------------------------------------------------------------------
1997 328iC Schwarz II/K/K 5MT SOLD 5/2012
2004 645Ci Mineral Silver Metallic/Black 6MT RIP 04/2011
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  #24  
Old 01-19-2012, 05:54 PM
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petriej petriej is offline
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I'm trying to find something along the original topic to point out in this ad, but I need help.

http://www.bimmerfest.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=591901
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hornhospital View Post
Jared, why don't you just put "It's Giubo" in your sig? Save a lot of typing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by e36 miguel View Post
this jared guy sounds intimidating lol.
2005 X5 4.8is Le Mans/Black/6spd Steptragic
1999 M3 Cabrio TiAg Metallic/Dove Grey/Black 5 Speed Manual
-------------------------------------------------------------------
1997 328iC Schwarz II/K/K 5MT SOLD 5/2012
2004 645Ci Mineral Silver Metallic/Black 6MT RIP 04/2011
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  #25  
Old 01-19-2012, 05:56 PM
94MTECH 94MTECH is offline
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Should have posted this here first instead of making a whole new thread. This pretty much sums up the worst possible add ever.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Custo...item3370c56e2e
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