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  #1  
Old 06-01-2005, 12:32 PM
Pvt. Joker Pvt. Joker is offline
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How to secretly kill a pine tree?

A woman at work wants to remove a pine tree on her property. Her husband likes it and refuses to cut it down. She wants to know if there's a way to kill the tree without her husband knowing that she did it.

(The reason she wants it removed is that it's blocking the late AM/early PM sun on the pool, whose H2O never gets above 70 degrees in July and August.)
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  #2  
Old 06-01-2005, 12:41 PM
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528i 528i is offline
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What about stump remover?

She could drill a hole at the base and fill it with the stump remover pellets.
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  #3  
Old 06-01-2005, 12:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 528i
What about stump remover?

She could drill a hole at the base and fill it with the stump remover pellets.

If this tree is of any substantial size, and it sounds like it is, weakening the base could be very dangerous.
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  #4  
Old 06-01-2005, 12:45 PM
Pvt. Joker Pvt. Joker is offline
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Found this on the net: (Note the word "obvious" )

"A sure (but obvious) way to kill an unwanted tree is to "girdle" it. To do this, you remove a ring of bark and the layer of live wood beneath it. The ring should go all the way around the tree, and be several inches high. This cuts out the water-transport system of the tree, so that it cannot transport water and minerals from the roots so the crown, and cannot move sugars from the leaves to the roots. If the girdle is big enough, the tree will die before the bark and live wood can grow back."
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  #5  
Old 06-01-2005, 12:51 PM
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Round-up. I accidently killed a cedar with it when spraying for poison ivy.
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  #6  
Old 06-01-2005, 12:51 PM
Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Oh poor baby, its blocking the sun after she cuts it down she's going to want it so she can have a shade women
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  #7  
Old 06-01-2005, 12:53 PM
Pvt. Joker Pvt. Joker is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill325Ci
Round-up. I accidently killed a cedar with it when spraying for poison ivy.
It's > 30m tall. I wonder if Round-Up's available in 55 gallon drums.

Last edited by Pvt. Joker; 06-01-2005 at 12:57 PM.
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  #8  
Old 06-01-2005, 12:56 PM
Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pvt. Joker
It's > 30m tall. I wonder if Round-Up's available in 55 gallon drums.
Yes, Costco
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  #9  
Old 06-01-2005, 12:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Sabrina
Yes, Costco
Cool! Maybe they sell Agent Orange too.
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  #10  
Old 06-01-2005, 01:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pvt. Joker
Cool! Maybe they sell Agent Orange too.

Yeppers, Costco
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  #11  
Old 06-01-2005, 01:01 PM
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Remove a few large pices of bark and set them aside.

Drill a couple of 1/2" holes into the tree as deep as your bit will allow. Pour in RoundUp.
Use rubber cement to glue bark back on tree to cover holes.

Repeat as necessary.
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  #12  
Old 06-01-2005, 01:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LmtdSlip
Remove a few large pices of bark and set them aside.

Drill a couple of 1/2" holes into the tree as deep as your bit will allow. Pour in RoundUp.
Use rubber cement to glue bark back on tree to cover holes.

Repeat as necessary.

I guess you can tell I'm a NW girl, this is killing me
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  #13  
Old 06-01-2005, 01:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pvt. Joker
It's > 30m tall. I wonder if Round-Up's available in 55 gallon drums.
My cedar was about 20' tall. <1/2 gallon did the trick.
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  #14  
Old 06-01-2005, 01:42 PM
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528i 528i is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zaphod
If this tree is of any substantial size, and it sounds like it is, weakening the base could be very dangerous.
Killing the tree in any way before cutting it down is potentially dangerous.
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  #15  
Old 06-01-2005, 01:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pvt. Joker
It's > 30m tall. I wonder if Round-Up's available in 55 gallon drums.
>30m tall as in ~100ft?

Yes, I expect she doesn't want her hubby to know. If it comes down on the house I expect he'd be none too pleased...
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  #16  
Old 06-01-2005, 02:03 PM
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Act of God? (Pour gas around the base just before a thunderstorm, and during the height of the storm, light a match! Whoosh! Lightening / Act of God! )
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  #17  
Old 06-01-2005, 02:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Salvator
Act of God? (Pour gas around the base just before a thunderstorm, and during the height of the storm, light a match! Whoosh! Lightening / Act of God! )
Bleach+brake fluid=no waiting for lightning.
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  #18  
Old 06-01-2005, 02:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabrina
after she cuts it down she's going to want it so she can have a shade women
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  #19  
Old 06-01-2005, 03:10 PM
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Why not put in a propane heater for the pool water?
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  #20  
Old 06-01-2005, 03:12 PM
Alex Baumann Alex Baumann is offline
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  #21  
Old 06-01-2005, 03:20 PM
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The city is fully aware of your secret methods. When I lived in Thousand Oaks, CA, the city refused to cut down my tree, even after I showed them a recent article that Canary Pine are weak under wind and a person was kill as one toppled over him. They wanted the city to look like an urban forest, at my expense, of course. They would rather spend thousands of dollars replacing lifted sidewalk and trim the pine rather than replacing it with a more suitable tree in the parkway.
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  #22  
Old 06-01-2005, 05:05 PM
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Find a mail order bug house and order a bunch of Pine Wood Borer beetles?
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  #23  
Old 06-01-2005, 05:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pvt. Joker
A woman at work wants to remove a pine tree on her property. Her husband likes it and refuses to cut it down. She wants to know if there's a way to kill the tree without her husband knowing that she did it.

(The reason she wants it removed is that it's blocking the late AM/early PM sun on the pool, whose H2O never gets above 70 degrees in July and August.)
OK, pour a quart bottle of concentrated 42% Glyphosate (Roundup) the ground. Cost is about $32.
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Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. Albert Einstein

Swim upstream. Go the other way. Ignore the conventional wisdom. If everybody is doing it one way, there’s a good chance you can find your niche by going exactly in the opposite direction", Sam Walton.
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  #24  
Old 06-01-2005, 05:34 PM
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Couldnt a copper nail into the side kill it?
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  #25  
Old 06-01-2005, 05:37 PM
philippek philippek is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LA525iT
Couldnt a copper nail into the side kill it?
Um, I think you're thinking silver bullet, and werewolf.
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