I can't speak for everyone, but the reason this conversation generates so much energy, I think, is because....well I'll speak for myself and see if you agree.
I am on my 5th BMW. All of my BMW's have been new leased 3-series, or vehicles related to a 3 series. I really have felt that I found my car, and I am not motivated to search outside the family because I've grown to feel every 3 years I will have what I had before, only better.
The F30 can feel like a betrayal, because all of a sudden there is a 3 series that is missing some of what I see as the core attributes of "my" car. (My wife's X3 has the same problem, but when I compare it to the Acura and Lexus SUV's she's driven before, relatively speaking, you can still see its essential BMWness. To my wife, who is not an enthusiast, and who has never had any interest in driving my cars, when I finally got her to drive the X3, she said, "Oh my God, now I see what you mean.")
DHP is part of the answer. But let's face it, this generation of EPS just loses something, and DHP doesn't make up for it. I really blame it all on the EPS. I haven't driven other enthusiast cars that have switched from HPS to EPS, but from the reactions I read in reviews of Boxsters, e.g., the issue is the same, perhaps not as extreme.
I find it hard to believe that BMW designers and engineers looked at what they have wrought with the current state of the art EPS and have said "that's fine; we'll just get a different class of customers." I think that it's a combo of the need to lead with the "next big thing" (look at runflats, which is another questionable BMW move from our point of view, but which are slowly becoming less of an issue over time), and the intense pressure on improving fuel efficiency and reducing CO2 emissions. I guess it's kind of like, "well maybe they'll get used to it."
Me, steering feel has always been #1 in priority. I loved my 2005 E46 for it, I love my Miata for it, and I really liked my E90s and now my X1 for it. I don't want to lose that, and the F30 doesn't have it. Yes, my E90s crashed more than I felt befits a BMW, and yes I cursed the runflats, but I still looked forward to driving them every day.
I would hate to think in 3 years I will not be able to get that any more. What will I drive then? Well, from what I read, GM and Lexus are finally starting to learn what BMW my be forgetting.