I'm assuming you've read this already:
http://www.bimmerfest.com/forums/showthread.php?t=533803
References M3s in particular, but is totally applicable to any E36. If you haven't read it, please do so, the whole thing (only 2 pages so far).
As for VIN decoders, none that I know of will list all the options the car came with. Realoem.com has a VIN decoder that will give you build date and original engine and chassis/drivetrain info.
The wood trim (which I happen to like, but most members here seem to hate

) came in different levels of application, but it sounds like the glovebox piece may be an add-on.
15" wheels were stock on the base model. Upgrade models got 16"s. You can find all sorts of OEM wheels in all sizes on Craigslist, in the want ads here on the fest, on bimmerforums, and eBay, among other places. Pay attention to offset and center bore. E36 'normal' offset ("et" in wheel parlance) is 40-45. Center bore is 72.56mm. Wheels for E39s can be used, but since they're 74.1mm bore, you MUST use a hubcentric ring to locate them. ALL BMW hubs/wheels are hubcentric, that is, they locate the wheel on the center of the hub by contact with the hub. They do not use the lugs to center the wheels.
You'll find many wheels that are much lower offset. Some will work without rubbing, many won't. Mostly depends on what tire size you run. I have 235/40/17s with a 25et on my 325is and they rubbed a tiny bit until I rolled the fenders.